Laid, Relayed & Parlayed
Attorneys at Law, PC, Esq. International

110 Downing Street
London on the Thames
England R8756439

Phone: 011-375-3489

Email replies to:  barristerswhowin@shylocks.com

Ms. Cyn Kitten
2469 Cats Meow Street
Litterbox, Michigan
USA, 45678-1234

Dear Ms. Kitten,

On behalf of our esteemed client, Master Jason West, we hereby serve you due notice of our firms pending action to forthwith serve notice on his behalf to bring about civil litigation as well as to seek all stipends, monetary compensations and payments in the way of suit for the below referenced incident:

According to the deposition filed by the grievant, Master West, hereby and to wit (further known as, the “Client“), you did with or without mental support or cause, accidentally or on purpose, wholly in character and known only unto you, while in the heat of a passionate moment, while in said company of the Client, cause his erect penis (to wit and hereby to be known as, “The Penis”), to be injured, damaged, marked, abraded, lacerated, cut and so crippled.

Said injury occurred when The Client was merely granting you at your behest and demand, for The Penis to be placed deeply into the cavity of your mouth and forcibly suckled upon, therewith, with vigor and delight.

Further, said damaged to The Penis was inflicted by you approximately between the hours of midnight and dawn (Eastern Daylight Time- -6 hours GMT) on August the twenty-second, of the year two-thousand.

As the barristers for The Client we are hereby obligated to pursue this matter fully and (without regard to international laws) governing the consensual conduct between two adults in a modernistic and ever-changing society. Know ye that a copy of this correspondence is being forwarded to the United States Ambassador at Large, the High Crown Counselor and to The Client.

We feel that Mister West has suffered tremendous damage not only to his member but to his ego, happiness, civil and sexual rights and his masculinity among other areas. The irreprehensible conduct and treatment that you showed to The Client only causes him tremendous and heinous anguish.

Sincerely,

Whey Laid
Rye Relayed
Sir Paul Parlayed (KOC)

WL/RR/PP//jws